Notes from the Underground #4: "I reached the end of my road"...

The cards where shuffled, cut, and one card jumped out (literally) for this weeks Notes from the Underground and it comes from a top quality band in America: The Anchor. 

I love the passion which comes through from all of their music, but inparticular the song Greenbow County has always been my personal favourite, with many lyrics which made it a part of the Notes from the Underground deck. 

It is that song which features today and particularly two lines which I really needed to hear. 

This week has been a little strange for me, with me personally feeling the demons rise back up in me and I've wanted to quit, to not go on with anything and shrink back into the dark. I get scared of things and want to hide, which in the past I would, but today I pushed myself to get out of the house and it does make me feel 100% better. 

The reason this lyric speaks to me is that when I get down I feel like I am at the end, that with my nerves of possibly performing or lots of appointments, I feel that I'm at the end of my road; I don't see the point of continuing, well the darkness doesn't. But no matter how tough it has been to get to this point, and I want to stop, I need to remind myself of the strength I have which has taken me to this new checkpoint, and instead of looking back, I need to take a breath, and charge forward down the next bit of road. 

In life it can feel like the road never stops, but that doesn't mean we can't have our own check points along the way. For so long, I felt that stopping for a while meant that I was failing and messing up my chances at being happy, but taking the time to stop is part of the journey, we need to rest before keeping on running to the next check point. 

So, if you ever feel like you are at the end of one of your roads in life; that be a job, hobby, relationships etc, or that you can't go on with something/do something, don't look at it as the end, but a mere stop when you can compose your thoughts before continuing on that journey and running to your next destination, knowing that you are doing the right thing and you can take on anything or anyone that appears along the way. 

Our choices are always are own and just by waking up in the morning and getting out and about, or doing something we were dreading, it can help us to know that moving forward is at our own pace and we have the power inside us to do so. 

My journey isn't running, even though it feels like it at times, it's making those small steps each day to get to where I want to go. I know that it may feel like the end sometimes and I see all the signposts of the negative thoughts, but if I tell myself I will feel better after and break the road down into little checkpoints, I know I will be fine.