Notes from the Underground #2 - "The road is hard..."

Welcome to the second notes from my underground, which was due to be released on Monday, but due to the bank holiday I thought I would save it for some mid week motivation. 

It was refreshing to write the last post and get out how I feel music really does help me and I hope over time more and more people will get something from these posts. That is the big aim, but even if just one person can relate then I will feel like I have achieved something. 

So, after shuffling up the cards, this weeks Note from my underground has been decided: 


This whole song by Vanna, is one I only stumbled upon recently and is one of the most powerful songs about depression and fighting through it that I have listened too in recent times, but that is a story for another day. 

Who is this card for?...ANYONE! If you are feeling like people are doubting you or are trying to put you down with comments of your appearance or the things that you are interested in or even the extreme to those people who look down on everyone, remember; "The Blood that runs through our veins, means you and I are the same". NO MATTER where anyone is on their life journey, we are all the same. We all bleed red, (When I was younger I thought I bled blue and white, but it was red!), and are all ultimately heading for the same end. So, remember that just because someone has something better than you it doesn't make them a more successful or happy person. If you can wake up each day and be happy with what you are doing and know in your heart everything is as it's supposed to be, that's awesome :) 

In the past there have been people in my life who have doubted me and I have been told by people that i'm 'going nowhere at the moment', but just because I don't have a million pounds in my bank or can afford to go on expensive holidays, doesn't mean that I am going nowhere or am a bad person. I am making choices for me and no one else.

The card can be viewed as one or split into two and for me the most powerful part is the last line: "The road is hard, but you're harder!" In just seven words, VANNA, have got right to the point and said just what life is like...hard and when it gets tough, it's hard to take stock of where we currently are and know that deep down we can push through it. 

If you are in a position were you don't want to push for a new job, get a degree, follow a new passion, everything is seeming to all be coming down on you at the moment and you want to quit...well, don't. Take a step back and know that you will have faced tougher roads in your life to this point and have always come away stronger, more wiser and experienced. 

I totally understand how hard that is to do though. For years I have taken the easy way out and not realised how tough I actually am. I'm not perfect and still do go through days of doubting myself, but I've slowly learnt to realise that the hard moments of my life have made me tougher and taught me loads, so that when the road gets tough again, I will be ready to tell myself that i've been through worse. 

I am trying to practice what I "preach" on a daily basis and that in itself is hard to do for me, with some days being easier than others. What I realise now, which I didn't in the past, is that I need to congratulate myself on the small victories, that make the road less bumpy.

An example for me has been starting using the UCLAN Media Hub, in Preston, to come and do my blog, write up scripts, and get out of the house. For me that is a massive step as it gets my up and out and feel more accomplished. I still have the nagging doubts wanting to come through and many times I want to quit, but I don't. Why? Because I enjoy it and I know it makes me happy to have a place to go and do some 'work'. In the moments I don't want to do it, I ignore the thoughts of "here we go again" and tell myself that even just two hours away from my house is making the road a lot less bumpy and showing that I'm stronger than I was in the past. 

While the roads we are on can seem long, tough and never ending, we are the ones holding the map, keeping ourselves going and no matter the situation, we can pull through it.