Notes from the Underground #12: "Believe"

It was late 2008 and a friend of mine sent me a song entitled 'Sell Your Soul' by a band called Hollywood Undead; I didn't have a clue who they were but from the first listen I was hooked and 11 years later I still can't get enough of them. 

They are a rap/rock band from America who have been with me through laughter, depression, tears, breakdowns and when making memories. If there ever was a band for me to be forever grateful for; it's Hollywood Undead. 

I'll be honest in saying that I have been waiting for them to come up, because of how much they have helpedme and how I wish everyone would listen to them and see how amazing they are. 

You get two sides with Hollywood Undead: REALLY REALLY funny lyrics or deep and meaningful. Just how I see life, depending on my mood. So, it was amazing to draw them from my deck tonight and it comes from a beautiful song called: Believe. 

(*Always awkward when you realise a typo - above should say 'Scars will heal' dont know how they could head!!)

Ever since I first heard this lyric, it has stuck with me and is something I try to remember in the dark times. Sometimes it works, other times it doesn't but I really think that it is one of the most real lyrics I've ever heard. 

I know if someone was to say it to me as a self-help quote, with no context, I would think it was full of cheese and most probably dismiss it, so I'm glad that its come from Hollywood Undead and I've sang along to it many times. 

It paints an image, for me, of all the times I've felt terrible, scared and down, and how I just want it all to go away and to feel normal. An example would be falling out with and stopping speaking to a close friend, that you didn't want to lose. All through the turmoil you want the friendship to just end and go away, or you are constantly arguing with them and both parties say things they don't mean. You are sad for the friendship to go away and it can take time for it to work itself out for better or worse. 

Then weeks, months or even years later you will be in a better position to look back on the past and realise how much you have grown from that time and just what you took away from it. You note that it was so hard at the time, but without that moment 'Bleeding' you wouldn't be were you are today. 

I see that in so many situations from my own life fighting with depression. I look back on all the times I've not wanted to be here and hidden away from the world, or done something wrong within my mentalism, played badly at football or any bad decision that has caused me pain. I now know how much i've grown and how much those moments contributed in making me the person I am today. 

Would I want to go through them all again? My answer would be a firm no; but without them I wouldn't be the Simon who everyone knows today, so I am thankful for those negative experiences in shaping me. 

So, if you find yourself in difficult situations, you may find some small comfort in knowing that the troubling times you are experiencing now won't last forever and the 'bleeding' you feel right now, will make you even stronger in the future.